It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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