Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
