I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize