Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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