Having a random hookup so left but love u
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we're so committed to being not committed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
