i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize