i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
