u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
