I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's shark week go big or go home
Who died my cat blue again?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
