I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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