Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
