Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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