Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't make out with my wife yet
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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