I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
