I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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