yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
