I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
