quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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