im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
