Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I die, sorry about rent.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
