but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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