I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sober January is a disaster.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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