oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
