Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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