So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
