If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
