So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
