I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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