I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize