Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
