haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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