its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
