I will die if light touches me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
