Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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