Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish you could order shots online.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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