i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
