So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's just like the Real World with babies
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
