Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
