Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
