If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
