i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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