maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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