you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. ITβS SAFE AND WORKS.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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