his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
