you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
