so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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