I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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