did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
