i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
