I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
