Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize