38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
