You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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