The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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