Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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