I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
