Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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