You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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