You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
