Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
