Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
