It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
