i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
