I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
