He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she pinky promised me she was 18
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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